Blindfolded

You don’t see it, do you?
No! You’re blind to yourself.
Always are.

You had visiters. You bought nice things to treat them with!
Grilled chicken and newly baked bread.
You bought fresh vegetables and delicious fruit.
You also bought milk to the coffee. To the café au lait.
The very best milk you bought.

You also made a café au lait for yourself.
And it tasted so good.

The next day you went to the camp! For two days you had a wonderful time.
You had friends around you.
The wood was deep and mysterious and the lake was big and blue.
The sun was shining and you poured milk in your coffee.
You had desserts with whipped rich cream and you ate cheese that saturday evening.
Sunday afternoon you stuffed yourself with ice-cream! Didn’t you?

Oh! It tasted so good!

But did you notice anything? No.
Did you feel anything? No.
No, you kept yourself unaware…

It’s nice to be hiding from yourself sometimes, isn’t it?

Days passed along and you kept on pouring milk in your coffee. You even drank more coffee than usual.
Big cups in the mornings. Big cups in the afternoons.

You cought a cold. At least you thought it was a cold since you had a sore throat and kept on coughing. Yours eyes were sticky in the mornings and it took you a while before you could see things clearly.

But how clearly did you see yourself?

You saw upon yourself as someone else. A person with a more intriguing personality!
The continental type!
The cool and beautiful type!

“I’ve got a cold” you said to yourself and stayed at home… lingering around yourself.

You kept on pouring milk in your coffee and I ask you:
Did it taste okay to you? Was it good? Were you feeling good?

No, I have a cold, you said again and attended to your itching hands…

For the upcoming weekend you bought more milk, more ice-cream, rich cream and sour cream.
You had to have it all! Didn’t you?
After all, a friend was coming so off course you had to have it all!
And you enjoyed every bit of it!

Or?

You were tired and had this awkward feeling of panic in your stomach.
A bit of restlessness… hard to think… slightly feverish…
The mind went blank when you tried to write…
Your pictures didn’t catch your interest…
More and more each day…

But! It tasted so good!
(Did it really?)
I can now, you said!
(Do you really?)

Two weeks! Then the day you suddenly realized.
You did realize, didn’t you?
But it had to come to nausea and stomach ache, and not being able to do anything.
Lying on the sofa, barely noticing the hours passing by.
No energy…
No nothing…

Was it worth it?
All that ice cream,  all those mugs filled with café au lait.
The cheese and the sour cream.
Was it worth it?

Advertisements

One Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s